The One That Got Away
Authored by: bluefin I never believed in love at first sight. Stupid romantics, don't you know that's impossible? That's how I used to feel about relationships and members of the other sex. How could you meet someone and just know that they were the right one?


Fast forward to the tender young age of 21 and my story begins:

I had graduated college and stuck around in my college town for a few years, working for God knows what. Life seemed to be completely open and what difference I was supposed to make or which direction was supposed to take was unclear. After a few years I moved out of the city and into a house with a friend by a lake. Our motivation for moving further away from what little civilization existed in our small city was singular: we waterskied almost every day of the summer, and getting us closer to the lake was priority #1.

For those few years our summers were spectacular: hot days in the lake and on the boats, summer nights on the docks and cookouts were the norm. This was also well before gas cost $3.50 / gallon, tanking up the boat was an afterthought. Our waterskiing progressed like mad, why none of us ever competed is still a mystery.

But all good things must come to an end. I hadn't realized it yet, but I was becoming unhappy. Sure I had it made in the summer, but all of my other friends had moved on, and were making it big in new jobs, lived in big cities, or were adventuring somewhere around the world. My job had been alright at first, but slowly began to feel like a trap. There was no hope for a promotion, and the people were just not my type. What was I still doing in this back-water town, working at a job I disliked? Of course, none of this was in the forefront of my mind, it would only become apparent after I had met, and lost, Julia.

I lived with a guy named Tom. Tom's parents lived around the bend on the west side of the lake and it was their boat we used almost everyday. Their neighbors also had a boat and skiied, and every summer Tom's parent's neighbors would have friends from California come out for a week to play around the lake. Before I loose you with all this "Tom's parent's neighbors" business, let me just get to the point. This family from California would bring their kids out who were about my age. I had met these kids over the past few years and become friends with Adam in particular.

Here was the week that we waited for all summer, Adam and his family were in town, and the weather was beautiful. I had taken part of the week off and all we were doing was living on the boats, swimming and grilling. At some point Adam mentioned that his ex-girlfriend was coming out and they were going to have to go pick her up at the airport. It was a bit frustrating, I wanted to just chill on the boats, why was some ex-girlfriend coming all the way out from California messing up the week's plans?

I'll never forget the first time I saw Julia. Adam had come back from the airport and the waterskiing was back on. I walked into the neighbor's yard up to the boat and saw the most beautiful girl I had ever (and have ever) seen in my life lying face down in the sand by the lake. That image of her is emblazoned into my mind. We were introduced later that day on the boat, and spent the rest of the week just casually talking, and hanging out, but there was something about her that wouldn't get out of my head. She seemed so alive, she was completely out of place in my life that had become a boring repetition of waking up, going to work, skiing, rinse and repeat.

Still I thought little of it, she lived in California, far away from me, and she was Adam's girlfriend, well ex, I suppose, but that was a little too close for comfort. The end of the week approached, and to say goodbye for another year, Tom and I had a party at our house for all the older kids who were due to leave the next day.

Surprising to no one except me, the next day I woke up and Julia was still in my house. I was terrified about what Adam might say, but I was more terrified that this beautiful girl was leaving and that this was the last time I would see her. Now I know, you're not supposed to cross that line with friend's exs, so before you go off and judge me, I have to stress that it was like I had no choice with Julia, I had this sense that we were supposed to meet, and honestly, Adam was someone I only saw once a year.

Luckily Adam wasn't upset, and we all said our goodbyes the next morning. I spent the day wondering what would become of Julia, knowing that chances were I would never see her again. I got home that night from work and felt a bit lost. We had had a great week, I was back to the regular grind, but I felt like something needed to change. That's when I got the phone call. Apparently Julia hadn't left. She had been flying standby and couldn't get on her plane, so she came back to the neighbor's house.

I've never been able to figure out if that was the truth, Julia has this crafty air about her. It's infuriating, everything for her seems to work out, and I've never been able to understand if that is by her own doing or the universe simply conspiring around her.

Over the next few days we were largely inseparable. She stayed at my house at night and hung out whenever I wasn't at work. She even helped me move a friend to a new house several states away. We spent a day over the weekend in the city, walking around the big tourist attractions. At one point we were caught in a mid-summer rain shower, and as I ran for cover, I turned around to see her standing and smiling in the rain, reveling in it.

Four or five days had gone by since she was supposed to leave and by now the luster had worn off. I wasn't sure why Julia wasn't going home or where this was eventually going to end up. I felt somewhat foolish, bringing this girl around with me, and having her be so quickly be a part of my life. I kept telling myself she was just a short-term summer crush, nothing more. I started to insist that she find a flight home.

Finally, it was time for her to leave. It seemed appropriate, she was going, I was staying, life would go on. I drove her to the local bus stop that would take her to the airport and we said our goodbyes. It didn't really upset me, this was how it was supposed to be.

As I left bus station and drove off to work though I started sobbing. Why was I so upset I kept asking myself? I knew I would miss Julia but there was something deeper about the feeling. It was like I had stood at a crossroads. I could continue with what I knew and just go straight, or I could change course and change my life forever. I couldn't quite understand what I was supposed to do and so I did nothing, I chose to stay with what I had.

Over the next few months we talked almost every night, and I would see Julia several times. We never explicitly made travel plans to visit each other, but whenever we were nearby we would be sure to make time to stay with each other. The last time I would see her, she was coming out to visit family nearby where I lived. It had been some nine months since we had first met and I was looking forward to her visit. But it would never happen. The week before she was to come out, she called and told me that she had started dating someone. We agreed that it would be unfair for everyone if she came to see me, and so our informal flings had come to an end.

Those crossroads I had stood at passed me by. The impact of loosing this incredibly beautiful, vibrant person had a dramatic effect on me. It was strange, here she was, someone I had always told myself was not important, but not having her in my life, regardless of where she was physically, made it feel empty. It was as though she had opened my eyes to the world and showed me that there was more to life than waterskiing and working. Several months later I quit my job after saving as much money as I could and left the small town I was living in. I turned down offers for work and to return to school and instead traveled to parts of Africa and South-east Asia, learning that life was larger than the material things we are so often led to believe in.

At some point I returned home and have since dated several people, finding love for some time with each of them, but it was a different sense of caring than I felt for Julia. Julia was someone that showed me how to love life and challenged me to be a better person. Sometimes people walk into our lives and just understand who we are and what we need. I felt that Julia understood me in that way. When I came to realize that, I realized that Julia was the one that got away, and that maybe I was in love with her, on some level, from the moment I first saw her. I often think about what my life would be like now if I had traveled after her, instead of leaving her at that bus stop, but to be honest, I don't think I would have changed anything I did. My choices have led me to where I am now and that has been a long, sometimes painful, adventure, but an adventure nonetheless. I often wonder what it would be like to see her again. Perhaps I've distorted my impression of her and idealized her in my mind. So much time has gone by and surely on some level we are very different people...

Julia and I had lost touch for several years but eventually we found each other again and we talk every so often about life and what we are each doing. She still lives far away, but somehow I doubt I've seen the last of her. Every so often she wanders into my conscious when I go by the places we spent together, and on the odd occasion that I find a picture of her, it reminds me of those crossroads I stood at for so long, while I watched her walk away... There are 2 comments