Just Don't Take the Chips
Authored by: Brison The first time I had a gun point at me, I was holding four jumbo bags of potato chips. I think I dropped them pretty quick, though. And to be honest, they didn't actually point the gun at me. But we'll get to that.

I was on my way back from Costco, preparing for a summer BBQ. We lived in Baltimore in a beautiful brand new row house that was, unfortunately, both on an alley street and right on the border of one of the dodgiest neighborhoods in town. Live and learn, I guess. Anyway, I was getting the last of the food out of the car right in front of my front door, when these two young guys come walking towards me, right down the middle of the alley.

"Come over here, man, we want to talk to you."

They grabbed me and pushed me up against the garage across the street from my house. Enter the gun. The one kid (the smaller one, it figures) pulls up his shirt, shows me the gun tucked in his pants, gets it out briefly and puts it back.

Ok, big man, you win, you can have my $10. What? Hell no, only $10? Dude, I'm a student. And get your hand out of my pocket, pervert. Fine, take the cell phone too, and just go.

Or silence while they ruffled through my pockets and wallet. One or the other. Funny, just 50 yards down the street my neighbors were standing there chatting. They never noticed.

And I'll never forget what that kid said to me as he walked away past my car: "And don't call the cops, man. We've got your plates."

Huh? Frickin' geniuses. There is 1 comment